Welcome to our new series:
Can porn addiction be a gift to your life?
Part 1: The hard way down!
When porn hits the screen the first time in your life, it’s a hell of a ride. Yeah! You feel the rush, the pleasure and excitement. We all do. But there is one thing we didn’t see coming.
Actually, it is a ride to hell. We just do not know right now and happily consume, explore or find shelter when we feel lonely or sad. We cannot see, whatever brought us here is less dangerous than what we aim now for in the long term. Then good old porn will cheer us up, flood our brains with tons of chemicals to brighten up our day.
Porn now got our permission to be the rescue pill for us. And as you guess we take these pills regularly depending on the mood, we experience.
Then we discover that these pills have side effects, about which we were not notified. Damn that void, that drop, that emptiness we feel after our porn high plummets.
We got hooked up for that quick fix.
The intervals to the next clip get shorter, the content rougher. The dose just got adjusted. Now we slowly realize it’s not porn itself. It is the unaware use of porn as a rescue pill without knowing which underlying feeling we want to numb for a short period. We run from the emotions, we do not want to feel, to which the aftereffects of porn will lead us back again anyway.
When the aftereffects of porn use start to pull us down, everything gets darker. Life seems to lose its bright colours and turns dull. Just for these temporary dopamine highs from porn consumption, everything appears bright again, before the next abyss will swallow our happy thoughts and feelings down again.
In this darkness, we not only lose orientation, but we also lose any drive to rise again. We got caught in a severe dilemma. The only solution we see is even more porn to cheer us up. We want that good feeling back, these colours and connections. We sorrowfully recall the times where laughter and joy used to be more than enough to enjoy this life. It seems so far away, unachievable. So we stick with porn, the proven quick fix for bad feelings and loneliness. But it simply will pull us further down into our addiction.
Soon we isolate ourselves even more. We let go of dreams and aspirations. We don’t feel home anymore in this world. That is just another one of these bad days. We want to feel good again, this time with a double-quick fix. Something new, harder, darker, more exciting. Cheer me up god damn it.
Welcome to the vicious circle in which an unpleasant feeling of the past leads to the same result because we chose the same behaviour patterns to solve it as before. Our brain now got trained for so long that it runs these behaviour patterns automatically. We run on a subconscious autopilot – direction unknown, but for sure further downwards.
Even if we now start to try to escape this hell ride our brain will reconnect to the bad feelings from the past and autonomously remembers to use its generall rescue pill. We are damned to relive the emotions we went through again and again.
We just set a blazing fire to our escape stairway.
Now take a good look around to see, feel and understand where you got yourself. Do not judge yourself. Just observe.
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The picture is from Pixabay