So we learned that anger helps as a natural valve to handle stressful situations. If you can not bear a situation any more, anger pops up.
You lose it, and the pressure gets released.
In the last post, we talked about how to step in between the cause and the anger using awareness. We looked at the difference between anger and rage. And with one easy question, I showed you how you enable yourself to dive deep into your system.
“So if anger is not bad, how can it serve me?”
Anger should be perceived as a gift, not a burden. It is a very bright sign popping up and showing you what lies on the other side. So anger is building a bridge to something you subconsciously already know. It is just not in sight right now.
Because when the situation does not align with your expectations anymore and anger surfaces. You can be certain that some of your needs were not met.
Beneath all your anger, there is another feeling buried- Sadness.
“Sadness is the well where the lover learns to open up his heart.”
In this sadness, you will find the gem in the form of a need. So important to you that your subconscious brought it up into eyesight with the help of anger.
In men’s work, I get surprised every single time when out of nowhere, sadness and tears break their way through that anger. In such a moment, all you can do is acknowledge it.
And whenever you are ready, to open the door of grief as much as you dare. Grief and sadness will come in waves. Allow yourself the time to walk through this. Here you can see why it is essential to step out of the anger situation into a safe place, to be able to explore and express your sadness.
A strong magician archetype will support your warrior in letting go (lookout for this upcoming post on HumanMankind.com). There you will find the trust to flow through the river of grief. Let it take you away.
Wave after wave your body will help to surface that profound need.
When the hot tears cooled down on your skin, and slowly your conscious mind awakes again in your body, then you know you reached that destiny anger endeavoured to show you.
Now or any time later you can explore this need. What does it stand for? From where does it come? Who placed it down there? Does it still serve me? And most important is the belive attached to it valid?
To manage your anger means to find the balance between allowing yourself to perceive that feeling and exploring its origin and validation.
Men, it is not about shouting or shutting up. We are gifted with these feelings and have an urgent need to learn that language.
When you want to explore more about your masculine Archetypes, feelings and effects, join a men’s group near you or book a coaching with me. Be sure to subscribe to the newsletter to never miss an article or event.
Have a great day
big Hug Jörg
Credits for the Picture go to StockSnap