Are you a male role model?

What does it mean to be such a male role model for you?

You might have clarity on this question, but it is way more complicated to answer it.

There is no question about how hard this world needs more male role models. Man who show up in a “good way”. You might think about synonyms like integrity, truthful, clarity, giving, caring, reliable, precise, responsible and many more.
….
So let us have a conversation about how a man should show up to be a male role model in this world.

What is essential for you? What is still complicated to achieve? Where do you see the most significant opportunities to grow? And what next step can you take to be that male role model?
….
I am looking forward to your replies
Hug Jörg

Thank you for the picture ljcor

Are you prepared to be a male role model?

As a man, how do you show up? And I am not talking about the good days. I am asking you about these days when you are stressed out. The once when you get pushed way out of your comfort zone.
….
When things get out of control, the day feels like a nightmare, and you can not take it anymore. You might get angry, annoyed, ashamed, frightened or deeply sad.

Which kind of man are you when you express these feelings?


….
Being a male role model is easy on a sunny day. Get it?
These sunny days are your training sessions for those bad moments to come.

And when they come, you better trained your behaviour patterns.
These patterns are connected with your most profound belief systems of how a male being should act, think and be.
….
As a man, it is not about wrong or right. It is about which belief systems you run in your life. Will they support you when you get pushed out of your comfort zone? Or do they only work for you on sunny days?
….
To find out, ask yourself in the next challenging situation, what your grandson might say about you when he would witness you.

It is that moment you will find out if your belief system is in accordance with your picture of a male role model.
….
Tell me in the comments about what a male role model is for you!

Hugs Jörg

Thank you for the picture simonwijers

The rise of a man

Can porn addiction be a gift to your life?

Part 3: The rise of a man

Here we are with our third part of Can porn addiction be a gift in your life. Here you can find part one, in which we were looking at the tough way down, down into an addiction which will hold its grip tight. In Part two, we were taking a look at what drives this darkness and which needs which were not met?

Today, in The rise of a man, we will take a look at these topics: Is it possible to, and how can you escape this vicious circle? How can this bastard of addiction be any good for you, to power your striving towards a better life? Why are you going to excel on what you could have been before the addiction?

Are you ready, so let’s dive in.

You have had the chance to feel into your darkness, and maybe you have found the underlying emotion with at least one attached belief you took on. That way, you now know what is missing in your life – a need which did not get met. 

Once we are at this point, we can let go of this belief and take a few steps towards a whole and abundant life, in which this need is met or maybe not necessary anymore.

Do not demonize this insufficiency or the way you set up your life to meet this need and avoid pain, harm or death. You needed to survive this, and that is the way you dealt with it. You are looking at a picture of the past. 

Ask yourself, if you want this past to define your present?

Let’s get back to “now”. Allow the past to be the history, to conquer this situation from where you are at today.

Your belief system, the avoidance of negative results or the energy you invested in finding replacement strategies. That consumed a lot of your energy.

And if you do not further feed that need with energy, you will gain an immense wealth on power. A power that you can use for your growth.

Just feel the possibilities suddenly opening up in front of you. You are no longer a victim of your need. You are at the point to become a creator of your future life by shaping now. Feel it for a moment. What is happening inside?

The unmet need provides so much power, to finally get you to a place you did not dare to imagine. What a gift this can be.

Now it is time to take the next steps to manifest this. The intention is as essential as faith before you get to commit to your future you and transform this energy into life-affirming action.

The key is consistency in these actions. But be aware, to not deceive yourself. One step is merely a step towards your goal, but a significant one.

A step a day keeps the demons away.

By transforming this energy, you will usually feel a sincere gratitude, which is a form of self-love. You will flood your being with feelings of joy and experience self-worth. You won the battle against your addiction and found a connection with oneself. The war will carry on, but this sunset, you will celebrate as today’s victory.

So escape is possible through tranformation of the addiction energy. And this infinite power source, once interconnected will allow you to outperform any imagination you have. Fear of relapse into unconsciousness will fuel your path and then converts into the joy of creation as fuel.

If you want to unchain the power inside your addiction to welcome abundance and prosperity, to pave the way for a deeper purpose in your life, consider getting support. And if you feel, time is now. I am here to be your guide out of the darkness inside. I will accompany you through that and support you with powerful and simple tools to empower you to become the man you meant to be. 

This journey is worth to be taken, and you sense that. 

You see what you can become.
Man, it is all there to be created, crafted out of the power which is already inside you.

But you are not there. No, you are not. You know that. You are still down there, in that darkness inside yourself.

Does it feel comfortable? I bet it does, even with all this pain and the agony in your life. The question is not whether you want to rise. The question is, when are you ready for it?

I know you can, and I am here to support you. So if you are ready: connect!

Hug Jörg

Thank you for the Picture Pixabay

Wake Up Men – The new podcast of HumanMankind.com

Now we get serious!

I am so grateful, and a good bit scared too, to take the next step with you men. Today I proudly announce, that HumanMankind.com will start a new Video Podcast called Wake Up Men.

A Podcast for awakening men. Not afraid of our darkness, we are going to be covering delicate topics, digging deep and daring to change perspective, to help you become the liberated and centred man you do strive for.

Octobre 8th we are going to record our first session with the title: Let’s talk porn

Our guest for this episode will be mastermind Gary A. Wilson from Yourbrainonporn.com and Boysen Hodgenson director of marketing and communication of the Mankind Project.

The darkness in me

Can porn addiction be a gift to your life?
Part 2: The darkness in me

Disclaimer: In the following text, you will find a process which is only suitable for mentally healthy persons. If you follow the process, you will do so on your own risk. If you are unsure about how this will affect you or have suicidal or traumatic issues, please seek professional help before you start. Always take care of your physical, psychological and mental health.

Welcome back, this is the second part of
Can porn addiction be a gift in your life?


Part one is here, in which we were looking at the tough way down, down into an addiction which will hold its grip tight. Today we going to take a look at what drives this darkness. What are the needs which were not met? What beliefs surfaced from that. Are you deemed forever?

And in the upcoming Part 3: The rise of a man, we will take a look at these topics: Is it possible to, and how can you escape this vicious circle? How can this bastard of addiction be any good for you, to power your striving towards a better life? Why are you going to excel what you could have been before the addiction?

So ready? Let’ dive into it.

We talked about this darkness already, colours faded and life got dull. You lost the spark, that fire inside. You still feel something, but besides the poisoned rescue pills in the form of even more porn, your feelings are mostly dark and depressive. You learned to welcome profound sadness, which you cannot dissolve because you got no one to lean on. You feel anger quite often, and it changed your behaviour towards the people you once loved or respected. In this isolation, you believe that the next f*****g porn clip is the only friend and relief you have left.

And now watch out.

Porn is not that. Porn itself is just what it is. It never offered friendship or relief from your emotions. You created that situation, in which you thought this would be true. You gave away your power, your conscious manhood to that addiction. Yes, my friend, it is this simple. 

Do not be ashamed about this. Realise and accept the fact that it is as it is. And most importantly, that it was you who opened that door to invite this addiction into your life.

Fuck that !“, you might think. Yeah! Fuck that, go and scream a bit. Let go of some pressure. And you are right, you are now in this is a miserable situation. So I invite you to take a moment, go into your cellar a nearby forest or any place where you can scream that anger out of your lungs. Go for it!

Just do not hurt yourself or others! Go. Permit yourself to accept the fact that it was you who got you there. Allow yourself to express that anger before we can continue. And when you are done, come back and read the rest. Do not deceive yourself. Take responsibility. You won’t cheat on me, that is all about you. If you are not sure, take a short look into a mirror. I bet you do not want to argue any longer.

So do, what you got to do, express what needs to be revealed for a few minutes.
And then come back.  

_________
Only continue after you expressed the emotion!
_________

Good to have you back. I suspect that stirred up a few emotions. And now as they are hopefully expressed, you can take a more in-depth look of where you are. Do not judge this process, your feelings or your perceptions of yourself. Just observe, feel and take a good look around.

You are granted a short moment before the darkness will spread out again, like a thick fog covering a bog.

Close your eyes for a moment if you want. Observe what wants to reveal itself. And it will come towards you. You don’t have to do anything. Just allow yourself to perceive.

It might be a form of energy in Motion, a so-called Emotion – a Picture of the past. Just dare to welcome it for a moment, you can let it go anytime. Dare to dip your toe into this dark matter and perceive what is.

Maybe there is a belief attached to that. A belief you took on at this moment. Be aware. Do not judge or do anything with it.

Now take a step back, change your perspective, by feeling your physical body, your feet and your hands. Move them a bit. Open your eyes and get back into this moment.

That is your darkness. And in this darkness, you are holding onto a belief. If you look at this belief and work on it, you will find the need which was not met. The answer to the question: What was missing? 

Because of that, the unmet need left a hole inside. A void which you filled with what seemed the right choice. There is nothing to be ashamed of. A decision is only a decision. It is not good nor bad. It just would be sad if you would stick with a decision that did not work in your favour, over and over again.

Now, you might ask is there a way out?

Yes, there is. And it is already in you. It won’t be easy to achieve but worth every effort.

I will disclose, even more. A way not only to bring healing to this wound, no, but I will also as well show you a profound way to excel your goals and become the man you were determined to be.

Interested? So stay tuned in for Part 3

Be sure to subscribe to the newsletter to not miss the next and last part of this series.

Hug Jörg

Thank you for the Picture: Mati (darkened)

Our 10 Week Journey Starts Today

Man, I am so excited. Today we start with our new challenge, and you can join anytime. This incredible life-affirming challenge will help you to thrive and live your purpose by taking the actions needed to shine bright. And it’s free of charge! It is my gift to you as you are a gift for me too. So join me on that:

The “who do you want to be” – Challenge

Just click on the link above to find out what you need to prepare to participate.
The Challenge is as well poste on Nofap if you like to join me there.

A note in advance. The level of your engagement determines the outcome of this challenge. The more you achieve to cultivate the milestones in your daily life, the closer you get to your goal. BUT there is no wrong or right. Be kind to yourself while demand the best you can give.

Be as precise as possible while seeing these points as rough outlines. Your milestones and even your goal might change or develop even further during that journey.

A final invitation to help you thrive even more. You can post your daily achievements here as a comment. That will not only help others to learn and feel encouraged but will also be a great support to yourself, by affirming your achievements as new beliefs about yourself and your life. You will empower yourself. You are the mapmaker, and you take full responsibility for your journey!

Now is the time to post your goal and milestones in the form of a numbered list. And then name the first milestone and explain what you are going to practise during that week. And then add the sentence to answer the question: “What do you want to have achieved by next Sunday?” and manifest it by answering like this:

I will be a man/women who is _______ by _________

Let me give you my example below.

I wish us all a great journey throughout this challenge!
Hug Jörg

The Hard way down!

Welcome to our new series:

Can porn addiction be a gift to your life?

Part 1: The hard way down!

When porn hits the screen the first time in your life, it’s a hell of a ride. Yeah! You feel the rush, the pleasure and excitement. We all do. But there is one thing we didn’t see coming.

Actually, it is a ride to hell. We just do not know right now and happily consume, explore or find shelter when we feel lonely or sad. We cannot see, whatever brought us here is less dangerous than what we aim now for in the long term. Then good old porn will cheer us up, flood our brains with tons of chemicals to brighten up our day. 

Porn now got our permission to be the rescue pill for us. And as you guess we take these pills regularly depending on the mood, we experience.

Then we discover that these pills have side effects, about which we were not notified. Damn that void, that drop, that emptiness we feel after our porn high plummets.

We got hooked up for that quick fix.

The intervals to the next clip get shorter, the content rougher. The dose just got adjusted. Now we slowly realize it’s not porn itself. It is the unaware use of porn as a rescue pill without knowing which underlying feeling we want to numb for a short period. We run from the emotions, we do not want to feel, to which the aftereffects of porn will lead us back again anyway.

When the aftereffects of porn use start to pull us down, everything gets darker. Life seems to lose its bright colours and turns dull. Just for these temporary dopamine highs from porn consumption, everything appears bright again, before the next abyss will swallow our happy thoughts and feelings down again.

In this darkness, we not only lose orientation, but we also lose any drive to rise again. We got caught in a severe dilemma. The only solution we see is even more porn to cheer us up. We want that good feeling back, these colours and connections. We sorrowfully recall the times where laughter and joy used to be more than enough to enjoy this life. It seems so far away, unachievable. So we stick with porn, the proven quick fix for bad feelings and loneliness. But it simply will pull us further down into our addiction.

Soon we isolate ourselves even more. We let go of dreams and aspirations. We don’t feel home anymore in this world. That is just another one of these bad days. We want to feel good again, this time with a double-quick fix. Something new, harder, darker, more exciting. Cheer me up god damn it.

Welcome to the vicious circle in which an unpleasant feeling of the past leads to the same result because we chose the same behaviour patterns to solve it as before. Our brain now got trained for so long that it runs these behaviour patterns automatically. We run on a subconscious autopilot – direction unknown, but for sure further downwards.

Even if we now start to try to escape this hell ride our brain will reconnect to the bad feelings from the past and autonomously remembers to use its generall rescue pill. We are damned to relive the emotions we went through again and again. 

We just set a blazing fire to our escape stairway.

Now take a good look around to see, feel and understand where you got yourself. Do not judge yourself. Just observe.

Be sure to subscribe to the newsletter to not miss part 2 of this series.

Hug Jörg

The picture is from Pixabay

Men, let’s battle porn addiction together

Join us on an extraordinary battle against false beliefs and shame to fight porn addiction in our lives.

In an open green heart group, you will find a safe container, to do your work and feel unparalleled support. Combined with our proven and powerful process work, you get the ability to show yourself vulnerable without shame or guilt.

Together we will rise as emotionally mature men, leaving porn behind, regaining our independence and healthy sexuality.

As a result, porn will no longer drain your energy or numb your feelings. You get the tools to enrich your life with the otherwise wasted energy which would only drown you deeper into porn addiction. Truly feed your purpose with every step you take and experience spiritual centeredness.

Are you ready to join a group, to change your sexual life?

Apply here for the next free spot in one of our upcoming “open Green Heart” Groups. Or download our manual for free to see how it works.

The “who do you want to be” – Challenge

Follow the path of milestones to reach your goal by answering a simple question: Who do you want to be next Sunday?

Join us on this 10-week challenge to define and reach your goal.

To reach your goal, you need a vision. And the vision itself is the journey towards that goal. To succeed in living your vision and reaching your goal, you got to break that vision down into achievable milestones.

Come with us on a 10 Week journey towards the man or women you want to be.

Ok, let’s start.

Step one, find your goal:

  1. Take a piece of paper and write down everything you want to achieve (for 10 Minutes).
  2. Circle around ten things, you consider important.
  3. Highlight the most important 3 out of these 10.
  4. Now look at them and write one sentence which represents your goal in the best way.

Step two, declare 10 Milestones towards this goal:

  1. Start every milestone with: I will…

Remark: they should be achievable and positive articulated

  1. As guidance use all the essential words as possible indicators towards that goal.
  2. Check them for validation. Is this a milestone which is valid towards my goal?
  3. Then put them into a list.

Step 3) Now, start your 10-week journey towards your goal this Sunday.

  1. To participate first share your goal and your 10 milestones with us.
  2. Then begin your first week by sharing your next milestone as a comment.

Therefore, I will ask you a simple question:

What do you want to have achieved by next Sunday?

Take the first milestone from your list and share your positive affirmation as a call for action. Like this:

I will be a man/women who is  _______ by _________

Now comes the active part. Your task is to connect with your goal at least once every day. The more, the better.

Remark: If you fail to achieve your weekly milestone by Sunday, share your result here by reflecting what did not work and what you could have done differently. Now you have two choices. A) Stick with this milestone another week and go with what you could have done different or B) pick a different milestone and get back to this one at a later point.

Remark: Hang your piece of paper, with your goal and milestones onto your mirror in the bathroom. The note helps you while brushing your teeth in the morning, to have it present every day.
If you want to take part, post your til-Sunday goal now.

Have fun!
Hug Jörg

The picture is provided by 12019

The anger sadness bridge

So we learned that anger helps as a natural valve to handle stressful situations. If you can not bear a situation any more, anger pops up.

You lose it, and the pressure gets released.

In the last post, we talked about how to step in between the cause and the anger using awareness. We looked at the difference between anger and rage. And with one easy question, I showed you how you enable yourself to dive deep into your system.

“So if anger is not bad, how can it serve me?”

Anger should be perceived as a gift, not a burden. It is a very bright sign popping up and showing you what lies on the other side. So anger is building a bridge to something you subconsciously already know. It is just not in sight right now.

Because when the situation does not align with your expectations anymore and anger surfaces. You can be certain that some of your needs were not met.

Beneath all your anger, there is another feeling buried- Sadness.

“Sadness is the well where the lover learns to open up his heart.”

In this sadness, you will find the gem in the form of a need. So important to you that your subconscious brought it up into eyesight with the help of anger.

In men’s work, I get surprised every single time when out of nowhere, sadness and tears break their way through that anger. In such a moment, all you can do is acknowledge it.

And whenever you are ready, to open the door of grief as much as you dare. Grief and sadness will come in waves. Allow yourself the time to walk through this. Here you can see why it is essential to step out of the anger situation into a safe place, to be able to explore and express your sadness.

A strong magician archetype will support your warrior in letting go (lookout for this upcoming post on HumanMankind.com). There you will find the trust to flow through the river of grief. Let it take you away.

Wave after wave your body will help to surface that profound need. 

When the hot tears cooled down on your skin, and slowly your conscious mind awakes again in your body, then you know you reached that destiny anger endeavoured to show you.

Now or any time later you can explore this need. What does it stand for? From where does it come? Who placed it down there? Does it still serve me? And most important is the belive attached to it valid?

To manage your anger means to find the balance between allowing yourself to perceive that feeling and exploring its origin and validation.

Men, it is not about shouting or shutting up. We are gifted with these feelings and have an urgent need to learn that language.

When you want to explore more about your masculine Archetypes, feelings and effects, join a men’s group near you or book a coaching with me. Be sure to subscribe to the newsletter to never miss an article or event.

Have a great day 

big Hug Jörg

Credits for the Picture go to StockSnap