FAQ Open Green Hearts
The Open Green Heart Project is a killer program to recover from porn and other addictions as well as co-dependency. It is a project of my heart and means a lot to me. I am Joerg Calvis, a men’s coach and facilitator, initiated man, father, business owner, and a former porn addict.
As porn is a big issue for a lot of men, I do share my insights, secrets, best practises and most important my biggest failures and struggles here on this website.
This section focuses on the “Open Green Heart Groups”, it is a free peer to peer tool based on all these treasures I found along the way, enriched by the results of our groups and my learnings in menswork. If you join or start a group is up to you. We will support you with all the knowledge and a safe container to get you out of your addiction on a shame- and guiltfree way. Even more, we will give you the guidebook of our workflow to build up and facilitate such a group for free, to ensure you will thrive & succeed.
Even so that the Open Green Heart focuses on giving you the best start to fully recover, to not let you relapse over and over again. Some men need additional support to stay on track and find the right path along the dangerous cliffs of their addiction. If you are ready to fully let go, thrive to a new self-empowered life in which you feel centred and filled up with self-love, I am here to coach with you.
As your independence & centeredness coach, I am looking forward to working with you.
Everybody is welcome, with whatever addictions will show up.
A stable group can either hold a single addiction (a one topic group) as well as several different addictions (mixed addiction group).
Anyone. Men and Women
Persons who just got the first glimpse of their addiction, which already are clean, those who suffered a relapse, supporters…
At any stage of facing addictions, you are welcome. No matter you just started your journey, or you achieved your goals already. Everybody can receive and be of support.
but it always starts with a first step and a fist day.
Why do we have chosen a minimum of 90 days is:
1) We wanted a goal which will be challenging
2) depending on the type of addiction 90+ days will rewire your brain. Several studies have proven that after you reached this goal, you will be off the hook much easier and relapse is less common.
And for those who are already clean: Keep on your work. That could be one of your supportive tools.
Personal: Your guts to do it and willpower
For the group: We would like some constructive Feedback of you. Your obligation as a group will be, that each of you keeps us updated how it works out for you, which rules and which adaptations you applied. That means you fill out a simple 5-minute feedback form twice a year (we provide that form). With this information, we can further develop our support for all of you.
Around 6-8 men build a team. Which provides solid reliability and a quick interaction and help as soon as a man sends out a “support invitation”
Once a man has chosen to go for what it takes to face his addiction, he contacts us. We support you from there on to find a matching group or help you to create one.
You as a man are then in connection to each man of your group via Whatsapp, Skype, Telegram, Zoom…
The group will receive the Manual (guidebook trough darkness) from us. There you will find all the information, basics, the workflow and agreements that will enable you to start right away. As well it will empower the group that they can define their own group rules and conventions. The men must be willing to encounter this group and themselves with an open heart. The highest goal is not to make judgments but to accept what is. In short, we encourage ourselves through the group and recognize our addictions. We feel them and us.
The core element of our work is to open up and seek support from the group without shame and guilt. A symbol does that – a green heart. The man who perceives an addiction craving sends an invitation for support to the group in the form of this Green Heart. At the same time, he is committing to “himself” not reset or relapse before he gets support. As soon as possible, one or more of the fellow group members will contact the man and support him in the way of loving self-awareness before they work out alternatives that the man now implements.
So what happens at this moment? The man gets in touch with the group (he does not isolate himself). He acts outside conventions such as good and bad. It is what it is. He feels, eventually expresses his emotions, and then through support, makes a decision what he needs now.
Feel – express – accept & transform through action.
Around this core, there are many variable building blocks such as blue hearts (accountability), virtual group meetings, share and shine posts, stretches …
In principle, it is a lovely way to dance with our shadows 😉
Do you dare to give your addiction this final farewell?